Ladies and Gentlemen, we are standing at the site of an enormous crisis. Here in Catalina, Arizona, we have discovered a new kind of insect. It is enormous—almost unbelievable in size and strength. It can tear, rip, or mutilate any tank or instrument of war that this earth has ever been able to construct.
So begins an amateur recording on aluminum-based lacquer Duodisc, probably made sometime in the 1950s. Its handwritten label—The Monster by the Boys—had intrigued me enough on a 2008 visit to Toad Hall in Rockford, Illinois, for me to gamble $3 on the chance it would turn out to contain something interesting.
It did. "The Boys" had got their hands on some disc recording equipment and acted out—apparently extemporaneously—a piece of audio theater that deserves to become a cult classic. If Ed Wood of Plan 9 From Outer Space had tried his hand at radio drama, it might have come out something like this.
The drama spans three separate bands ("acts"?) on one side of the disc, with some typical tracking problems at the very end of the last one. Initially intense machine hum fades over the course of the side—in this and everything else, what you hear is what "The Boys" recorded, warts and all.